Your 11-year old self
The joys of telling your story

Building Your Child’s Self-Esteem

Not so long ago, I met a friend in town and she told me about her daughter who was being bullied in school. The child was having trouble concentrating at school because she was called fat and other names.

She has a beautiful daughter, a lovely well-mannered girl. But she was very concerned about the level of bullying. The school had ‘dealt’ with it but it had continued.

This is just one simple classic case; many kids are bullied in school, in the playground and many other places. Bullying does not stop at school, it continues in the workplace and sometimes in relationships.

As a society, we cannot stop people from saying mean things. People will always say and try to put others down. Like my daughter Claire wrote in her blog, a person who is not empowered will always be disempowered. I was so glad to read these words from my then 10 year old.

After 15 years working with young people and having experienced bullying myself, first at school then in the work place, I was in a way lucky because I had the skills to cope with the bullying. I had support and from a very young age I knew what I was good at and would not tolerate BS from anyone.

The best gift you can give to your child is for them to have the ability to be self-reliant.

Here are some of the ways you can help your child if they are going through a hard time at school.

1. Remind them that they are unique; make them believe that they are good enough.

2. Encourage them to be exceptionally good at something. Be it sports, piano, singing, writing, playing Minecraft or baking cookies. That gives them a sense of pride and achievement.

3. Encourage them to be a good friend because when they are good friends themselves, they will automatically attract other good friends.

4. Aim for the effort not the results.

5. Concentrate on making a difference.

6. Teach them to have Internet intelligence.

7. Teach them to start loving themselves. That’s the basis of self-confidence.


  1. Learn ways to nurture your preschooler s self-esteem, from lavishing her with love to letting her take risks and make mistakes.

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