When I was young I was told that “of all the talents that God has given us, the power of speech is the most important gift” and that it should be delicately cultivated.
There is no other greater talent than this.Words are such a powerful tool, they can break a heart and destroy a person’s self esteem forever or they can build someone to greatness.
Last Saturday as I was going through Facebook, my little cousin had put a post that made it clear she was very upset. I immediately called her to ask what was happening, as I knew she was in boarding school. It was 12.40am in Zambia at that time. She was bothered by the words her peers had said to her; they asked her to leave the photo session because she was too dark and that she would spoil the photo.
At first I could not believe how anyone could have the audecity to say such mean words but then I remembered that high school could be a battleground.
My cousin is beautiful in everyway with a gorgeous smile and big bright eyes. She lights up a room whenever she walks in and she is always smiling. Yes she has darker skin than most people but I see nothing wrong with that. I remember when she was a child and she would say funny things to make everyone laugh but how could such a happy child be sad by what others are saying about her skin color?
I asked her to write down a 100 things she likes about herself, however long it takes to write that down, its up to her. I also told her to thank God for those “mean girls” as they are helping her to build character.
We never become stronger by sleeping in a garden full of roses and sunshine. We become stronger through the hard times and adversities that we go through. The fact is this…people will always say something about you and if you don’t give them something to talk about they will create something.
My point is… try your best not to be affected by other people’s words. It’s not an easy thing to do. But when you are fully content with yourself and love yourself so much, life will become a lot easier. As a child in lower secondary school, people would pass sarcastic comments about how long my legs were and how thin. But the truth is, people will always project their insecurities on you and make you feel bad about yourself.
Always remember that you are beautiful just the way you are and don’t ever compare yourself with others. I learned to love myself as much as I could and the most important people in your life will always love you unconditionally.
Be perfectly happy with what you have and who you are. Dare to wake up in the morning and look in the mirror and smile, saying, “I’m wonderfully and fearfully made”.
Go out and give genuine compliments to those around you and if you can perform little acts of kindness, that my friend, will change someone’s life for the better.
Like Oprah says “ The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is to celebrate”.
Here’s to celebrating you!
“There is nothing stronger in the world than gentleness” Han Suyin.
Be gentle with your words.
With love
Nkandu
